Today I did whatever the fuck I wanted. And it was magical. And wonderful. And hard to put into words. But I’m going to try. Why is it so amazing to just not ask questions, not worry about anyone else, and just go and do and be?
I searched for a perfect hike this morning. And then I hiked it. It was gorgeous and full of wonderful sights and sounds and smells. It was 13. 6 miles long. Exactly. It was an out and back trail. 5.5 miles over the hills and through the woods with the ocean in the distance and then up closer and then I could hear the sound of the waves and smell the surf. I reached the beach and it was another mile to a WATERFALL. A waterfall onto the beach from the cliff above. I can’t say that I’ve ever seen anything quite so wonderful. The sand was soft and hard to walk in and my legs felt tired as I trudged toward the falls, dodging the waves and slipping in mud. There were rocks - smooth and oval and round and gray and black and brown and white. I picked one up. It was special. It had blue streaks through it on the gray surface. I put it in my pocket and later, when I wrapped my jacket around my waist it kept hitting my leg; there will likely be a small bruise there tomorrow. And I will like it. I only brought a bottle of water and a clif bar on that hike. I ate it at the falls. And it was delicious and perfect and my body needed it. I thought about the beautiful reiki massage I had the day before where the healer/massage therapist told me that my body is my friend and companion and to always remember that.
I sipped the water out and back and it, too, was enough. Why does California smell so good? So. damn. good. There were poppies and lilies and irises - those purple wild irises that my mom would have loved. She loved irises. The kind that grow in Kansas and smell lovely. These were smaller and didn’t smell. I tried. Everything else smelled though. Wild jasmine. Surf. glorious eucalyptus - my very. favorite. smell. ever. I knew I was going to love this hike when the first mile (and the last, as it was out and back) was a eucalyptus forest. I breathed and breathed and breathed it in and wished there was a “save” button in my nose for when I wasn’t in California anymore. When I reached the falls, I was happy to see them. I also realized I had just as far to return, and my legs were already feeling it. But I love the way my legs feel when I overdo it. It’s why I’ve run so many damn marathons. There’s nothing like the way your legs feel and a cheeseburger tastes at the end of a marathon. I thought about life and poetry and beauty on that hike. I also thought a lot about food. When I made it back to my car 14 miles later, I stretched, I breathed, I finished my water, and drove back to Stinson Beach - 20 minutes or so. I watched the sun lowering and shining over the Bolinas lagoon. I saw it for the first time 12 years ago, and it never gets any less beautiful. The cranes or egrets or whatever those gorgeous white birds are - gathering together around the edges as the sun glistened and the tide came in. I drove my car with the window down (even though it was cold…. I needed the smell) and the music blaring and smiled to myself. I was living my perfect day. I returned to my little rented cottage, took the hottest shower ever, scrubbed the dirt from my ankles, massaged creamy conditioner into my hair and sang out loud. My stomach was growling, I went to dry my hair and alas - no hair dryer in this cute little rental. I pulled a beanie (my fave bright green Tommy Breeze hat)over my wet hair , threw a few layers of warm clothing in my big bag, loaded in my computer and kindle, and headed off to Parkside cafe, my favorite food spot. I ate all the food. Drank all the wine. Read my book. Petted the dogs. Recharged my phone in the car while I warmed my bones. Parked in the lot behind Parkside cafe until I had enough juice to take a photo of the gorgeous sunset. I took a lot of deep breaths there as I sat at the edge of the beach taking it all in. People throwing frisbees, posing for photos, smoking weed, running and jumping and sitting. All focused on that gorgeous orange orb lowering itself into the sea.
And in this moment. I feel like I’m the luckiest human on earth. The perfect day.
